Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I like big butts...

Somehow the size of peoples' butts came up in the kitchen last night. I have a straight up flat butt. Seriously God overlooked that part when making me. Fortunately, everyone in my house has a nice bubble butt.

Mad told GI Joe he had a big butt. He said "thank you Mad". She said, "I have a squishy butt because I poked a hole in my cheeks and filled them full of orange goo". SRSLY. Where did she come up with that? Then Em said that she did the same but used her bellybutton to make her tummy fluffy. Oy Vey.

We are having serious tv problems in my house. GI Joe watches the crappiest stuff like football, racing, gold prospecting, the outdoor channel. He sounds like a redneck, but he's only redneck in his entertainment choices. Which I DON'T GET. I wanted to watch the AWESOME "Heroes" last night so I went in the bedroom to watch it. Apparently that made me antisocial. But really, why do I want to watch a sport (football) which I know NOTHING about while he's not even talking (except about the game and I DONT GET IT).

So, tonight I'm taking over the tv and watching my shows that are in the dvr. I'm putting my foot down.

Btw, I took a spinning class yesterday and could barely walk afterwards. I didn't know it could be that hard! The trainer is Harvey, and he is BIG. He said "one rule, NO WHINING". He obviously didn't know what I do for a living. Throughout the whole class I was watching a Pilate's class through the window and thinking I was a total dumbass. I could be stretching with those ropes rather than riding "up a f'n mountain" on this bike!

Oh well. Today is Circuit training with Harvey. I don't know to stick to my elliptical or to be tortured by Harvey today. Decisions, decisions.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Marjorie at Green Life, yay! I'm seriously addicted to that place. It's sooooo yummy and HEALTHY. My fat (but flat) butt needs healthy food.

Monday, September 29, 2008


We all packed up and went to see GI Joes' family. We had a good time...despite we were TWO hours late. Ugh, I hate to be late. By the time we got there, they were packing up and leaving. We did go to his parents house and spend time with them and his sister who is visiting from Florida.

Saturday we had alot of fun. I took the girls and met my mom, Marjorie, and my two nephews for some fun. We went to Buddy Bears' Playhouse which is just a building full of inflatable jumping things. It also has games to earn tickets for crap toys that of course the kids love.

After a long day of playing we tucked all the kids in so me and my guy went out to sit and laugh with neighbors. We sat around with lula, her hubbie, my sis Deeds, and her guy. We laughed and talked until about 3 in the morning. That may have contributed why we were late on Sunday.

GI Joe had a bad sports weekend. Georgia lost to Alabama, the Falcons lost, and Jimmie Johnson won the race. Note: I'm not into any of these sports which is why I should be fiance' of the year for sitting through them. For him.

McCane is an idiot, Palin is a straight up dumbass. They TERRIFY me.

BTW, if any of you are in California, be sure to vote NO to Proposition 8 which would amend the California Constitution to remove the legal ability of same-sex couples to marry. A new section would be added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California".

Peace out,

Friday, September 26, 2008

The great Sarah Palin everyone...


That's all I have to say

Isn't this funny...

John McCain spent much of this week saying he wouldn't attend tonight's debate with Barack Obama, and it wasn't until this morning that the Republican candidate confirmed he would participate.

That indecision and stunt playing did nothing, however, to quell his campaign's confidence their candidate would trample Obama, because they've already prepared an ad declaring "McCain Wins Debate." It accidentally ran on the Wall Street Journal's website this morning, before McCain said he would be there tonight.

As for McCain's odds tonight - well, let's just say I wouldn't bet on him.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm tired...

Ok, I've lost six pounds in the last three weeks...YAY! On the other hand, I'm exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for two weeks straight. Lula thinks I'm over doing it. She may be right (but don't tell her I said that).

The girls go to visit their dad and grandmother in NC next Friday for a week. I plan on catching up on my sleep then. Oh WAIT, Oct 5th is my 30th birthday. Ugh, I may hibernate through it. Marjorie says we're going out, I just can't repeat last year. I would tell you but then I would be embarrassed for life (it only involves falling in my gay bff Peters' bathtub). I never said that.

In other news, apparently even though McSame thought that the fundamentals of our economy were secure just a few days ago, he's now dropping out of tomorrows' debate to go to DC to fix the problem. I can't rant today, I'm out of extra strength Valium and they look down on drinking at work.

Mad has informed me that she broke up with her boyfriend Dylan and she now has TWO new ones. Mad will be eight on the 15th of Oct. What am I going to do with this kid? I'm at a loss. I keep telling her boys aren't important right now, that she should focus on school. But then she quickly tells me that I'm not COOL. Like I said, I'm out of Valium (I never had any but if anyone would like to donate to my cause I'm open to it :)

Em is doing better with focusing in class. I've noticed she just looks at me often to see if she is doing her work right. When she is reading, she'll look at me and I'll tell her she's doing great. Just look at your book and if you have trouble with one I'll help you out on it. That seems to be helping some. Em wants to go back to see Mama Mia, she is still dancing around the house singing "Dancing Queen". I love Abba, and it's a good thing (thanks Martha)


Monday, September 22, 2008

I may be a bad mom...

Yesterday was a looooooong day. Mad, Em, and I went and had lunch with my parents, one of my nephews, and one of my brothers. We had to kind of rush because we had a 1:55 appt at the movies.

I took my 6 and 7 year old girls to see Mamma Mia. Is that bad? See the thing is, we are all musical fanatics. Everyone of their favorite movies is a musical, and I LOVE ABBA.

It turned out GREAT! The movie wasn't the greatest I've seen, but I loved seeing the girls dancing in the aisles to Dancing Queen. They also had the lyrics to the music at the bottom of the screen so they both were singing and dancing throughout the movie.

We laughed and sang and danced. True girl fun.

GI Joe was visiting his brother playing some golf (they ended up playing 36 holes). I'm glad he gets to spend time with his family before he leaves. I truly love this man, he gives me new reasons to every day. He brought me back a bumper sticker, it says: McSame/Failin 2008

I love it!

Peace out peeps, I'll try to update more later :)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ten things I hate about....

Ten Things I Hate About You Sarah Palin

10. You have a newborn baby with Down’s syndrome but still think you will have time to be a quality mom as you run for office. Either the U.S. electorate or your child is going to suffer in that situation, and I hope it is not your child.*

9. You’ve been mayor of a town of 5,000 and governor of the state of Alaska (pop. 670,000) and think you are qualified to be VP. According to the U.S. population clock, we are currently at 305, 098, 874 so you have governed 0.2% of the US population.

8. The sum total of your 'foreign policy' experience is ordering 'Kung Pao' chicken at the Canton House in Juneau.

7. Your daughter will be a teen mom and you have the insensitivity to parade the girl and her ‘deer in the headlights’ boyfriend on the National stage.

6. Your sum total of education is a BS in journalism. (Hello? I'm thinking some graduate work in law or political science or economics might be in order...)

5. You are anti-abortion, anti-choice. 'nuff said.

4. You call yourself a ‘fiscal conservative’ and campaigned against earmarks but you lobbied for 26.9 million in earmarks for Wasilla. (Please see point 9. Total Wasilla population=5,000. I'm no math whiz but that's per capita spending of $5380).

3. Drill, Baby, Drill. That is just wrong and a short term Band-Aid to the energy crisis.

2. You want to ban books from your local library and tried to fire the librarian for not following your directives.

1. You do not know what the VP does. (You're fuckin' kidding me, right?)

I got this from one of my favorite blogs: http://leendaluuwitsend.blogspot.com/

*I'm going to add that she doesn't even know what the Bush doctrine is!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's another reason

I agree with every point. Just because she's pretty (that's what they say anyway) and can see Russia from the Governor's' mansion doesn't mean she can run the country. Guess what, McCane is 72 and will be the oldest f'ing person in office EVER! That means this dumbass Palin will probably end up running OUR COUNTRY! I know people say that I'm not being feminist because I don't think she should run with the problems she has in her personal life. It's just that as a mom, I wouldn't want a nanny raising my DS child. I would do everything I could to give him a normal upbringing and know that I'm always there for him. People can hate if they want, but opinions are like...well you know. Every one has one.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Yesterday I got some interesting news from my SEVEN year old Mad.

For a bit of back story:

I went from work to the gym yesterday (I had the forethought to bring a change of clothes). My favorite elliptical wasn't open, so I decided to be daring and try out a treadmill. I won't be doing that again. It's not fun and I feel like at any second I'm going to be thrown off. I also think that at any time my foot will hit the side instead of the belt and I'll fall off. Yes, I'm graceful like that. Anyway, my machine opened up and I hopped on that.

When I got home sweaty and stinky, Mad came up to me and told me I stunk. I said really? Will you smell my other armpit and see if it stinks too or is it just the one that stinks? Yes, I'm a weird mom like that. I like to torture my children for sh*ts and giggles. She did it and then pretended like she was gagging. In the course of this I noticed she had a cute little ring on her finger I hadn't noticed before.

I said, "Mad who gave you that ring?". She replied that her BOYFRIEND had given it to her. I asked her what boyfriend and why hadn't she told me before? She looked me straight in the eyes and told me she was waiting to tell me when I was sweaty and stunk like a dirty foot. Yes, she went there on me. I then proceeded to drag her in the kitchen to show GI Joe. After we prodded her about this new BOYFRIEND, GI Joe said quite simply: he won't be in school tomorrow. She said "why not?". He said because I'm going to find him and interview him. She said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

At this point we were trying to stifle the laughs (and not doing that good at it). She was freaking out thinking he was going to show up at her school in his military uniform with his m-16 to interrogate her new boyfriend. Well, we decided the jig was up and told her to chillax, we'd wait until a school party and discreetly do it :)

Kids are so funny.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I am sore today

Yes, this is my enemy. It's also my best friend. I'm now up to four miles in an hour. That may not be the best, but it's good for me. I worked out FIVE days last week! Hooray!

Yesterday I decided to only do 45 minutes and then go do the weight machines concentrating on my back and arms. That is where I'm sore today. It's somewhat difficult to raise my arms above my head, or move them at all really.

Saturday started out disappointing, but turned out great. I took the three girls to the pool. Guess what, they were closing early! The HORROR! Well, we cleaned at re-filled the two-footer we have at home. We played outside and just spent time together.

I found out my guy will be leaving for Afghanastan in January. That didn't make me happy. He has a chance to transfer to another unit that isn't deploying, but he couldn't and wouldn't do that to his boys. I wouldn't want him to either. These guys are kind of like our kids. We care about them as much as they care about us. I know they will take as much care of my guy as he will for them.

My boss Fred had the AUDACITY to raise his voice to me the second I walked in to work this morning! I told him to go to his cave and chill out before I beat the bejesus out of him with my stapler. Needless to say, he went to his office.

Not much else to report on today.

Peace and equality to all :)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Today is a special day I'll never forget.

Seven years ago today, I was working at the hospital when the other nurses (I worked as an RN for 6 years) came hollaring. They said a plane had hit one of the Twin Towers. We watched nonstop. We saw when the second struck, and watched until they collapsed.

I have many opinions on what happened that day which I will NOT be talking about here ever. What does count today is the fact that over 3,000 people died that day. They died because some extremist group decided they wanted to fly some planes into the towers so they can go to Heaven with all their virgins.

My GI Joe is leaving next year for his FIFTH combat tour. This time he's going to Afghanastan. After meeting his troops and seeing the undying faith and affection they share I know that they will all protect each other. That gives me peace. So, I'll say this...

Greenlife Thursday yayyyy!

Today on my quest to qet healthier, Marj and I had our weekly lunch get together at Green life. I'll say it just once, it's an organic grocery store that also serves organic and healthy lunch. This is what I had:

Spinach salad with baby tomatoes, cucumbers, tuna, shredded parmasian cheese and some other stuff thrown on. I also had some of this:

Yumm, fruit salad (does anyone else remember the Wiggles singing this song?). For desert I had this:

Gelato: I've never had it before. The girl at the store said there is 90% less fat in gelato than in ice cream. I though I'd try some simple vanilla bean. It was good! I hope that b*tch didn't lie to me!

Anyway, I'm back at work *argh*! Drinking this:

Ha, I thought that was funny.

Btw, the BR ocd is getting worse. Now after I check the door a few (hundred) times, once I get to the toilet, I have to turn around and check it again. Someone had left a stray "hair" on the wall next to the toilet yesterday. Note: I'm drinking alot of water. I had to go to my doctors office (which is down the road and I've done this before) to go pee! I CAN NOT go in a bathroom when I feel it's not up to par. I'm a squatter, but what if that "hair" started to climb up the wall and jump on my arm? I'd DIE.RIGHT.THERE.

Sorry for the potty talk, but it's driving me CRAZY!

Sorry I didn't post for a week, sometimes I just don't feel like writing anything.

Love ya lots!


Just so you know, I hate excercising. I'm not one of those people who live for it. I've worked out three days in a row now. My brain hates it, but my body loves it. I always feel better after I get off that damn eliptical machine that tortures me. It's that love-hate relationship.

I started back because let's face it, I haven't been in a few days (months actually). I started putting on a few in the midsection especially. Now that I'm getting older that is where the fat seems to gravitate.

GI Joe and I are on a mission for fitness. We pack small meals for the next day at work. We're excercising and getting into a routine. Now I'm not in the house until about 6:45 and that sucks. But, I'm sure that being a good example for the little ones is a good thing.

Enough about that, I can't believe McCane and Palin gained points in the polls! Double ugh!

Peace out,

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Not politiks...

I may have to go to rehab. I've become addicted to the conventions and debates. Does anyone have some Valium I can take for McCanes' speech tonight? Seriously. You should have heard GI Joe and I last night. SCREAMING at the tv. I know that crazy lady can't hear me, but it made me feel better. Tonight...oy vey, thus the needing of Valium (lots of it preferably).

Anyway, I had an appointment with Em's teacher yesterday. She's in first grade. Apparently, Em is extremely smart (duh) and is the sweetest child (like I said) and never fights with anyone. Her teacher says she has an amazing imagination. I started to feel the dread. You know, the "she must be buttering me up for something" feeling. She then asked me if Em has problems with focusing on tasks at home. I said....um no. Apparently, Em lacks focus when they are in groups for reading and phonics. She said "have you spoken to her pediatrician?". I replied, no. I then let her know that her kindergarten teacher never said anything about that. That's when she said those three letters that racked my brain: A.D.D.

I told her that I would do whatever I could to help, but I felt she is just very imaginative and I don't want her on medication. I don't feel it's a severe enough situation yet (if one at all in my expert opinion). Don't get me wrong. Em's teacher is great. She's been teaching first grade for 19years. She's very good. She agreed that Em probably doesn't need medication but she just wanted to bring the situation to my attention. She said that if Em is basically doing her work with no help from her right now (because she doesn't listen to her, she's too busy looking around the room), imagine what she could do if she would focus.

Ok, I get it. I really thought I was going to die. My Em is perfect in Laurels' wor(l)d. I think she's perfect.period.

Seriously, do you think that J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter if you've been living in a cave) was teased because of her imagination? I would bet she was. I see Em with that kind of hard core imagination. She can sit in her playroom alone for hours playing with anything. She has tea parties with her stuffed animals. She makes musical instruments. She makes entire "worlds" for her littlest pet shop friends. They all have names and personalities.

I know I'm rambling, you get the point.

To tie things up, you can see I'm a bit wound up about this. This, and the McCane speech tonight that is going to wind me up and make my head spin.

Peace out peeps,
Laurel :)

I threw up a little watching her speak last night.

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending … and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.
Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.
He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

Also, the AP pointed out what some of her co-horts had to say and the facts that point out the truth.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply … She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. … She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

Sorry for all the politico posts, I'm a bit obsessed at the moment.

Monday, September 1, 2008

It's Labor Day...

and I'm at work.

I'm going to rant about something really quick because I keep seeing this crazy persons pics everywhere. Sarah Palin: VP nominee for John McCane (I'm keeping it that way).

Alright, according to her and Johnny boy because I'm a woman and Hillary didn't make it in, I'm now supposed to vote for her. Set aside the fact that she is against everything I stand for (equality, woman's' rights, ending the war) I'm still apparently supposed to vote for her.

She stated that we (as women) still have a chance to make history. We should swing from supporting Obama because now we have a woman to vote for. Personally, I think Barack made a mistake with not bringing in Hillary. But, let's face it, in the world we live in now we have to find the lesser of evils. Most politicians are shady. We just have to find the one we have the most in common with and trust they won't f*#k it up too much.

I was inspired by Obama in his speech last Thursday. I felt a renewed sense of hope. Unrealistic? Maybe. But it is my right to live in that delusional world.

Rant over, continue on.