Wednesday, August 27, 2008

some Chuck Norris FACTS

I realize I'm a total spazz. For Marjories' viewing pleasure, here are some FACTS about the one and only Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.


Anonymous said...

Lula here. I am at work surrounded by people who hate me, but have been ordered not to gossip about me ...LOL. Any way I decided to try to read your blog from work. I read it alright, and sat at my desk laughing my but off in the silence of this big room. I am sure the insane giggling coming from my cubicle has completely convinced THEM that I really have lost IT! Oh well maybe I will finally get that padded room I have be dreaming about for years! PS chuck noris is OLD! I want some fact on Vin D. now he is hot

Anonymous said...

you are not alone spazz! i left a comment on this blog about the hair blogs!!

Laurels word said...

You have to understand that people have this fascination with Chuck Norris. My mom LOVES him. My friend D-Pat, Marj, and me would send Norris pics when I was on myspazz.

Don't worry about those a-holes. We'll act totally crazy at your next party and then they will fear us...muahahahahaha